how could I be so stupid?

I should have known this was you waxing and waning. What I want to do is show you that the pattern we fell into is the same pattern you're going to fall into with him. But you'll figure that out on your own. 

But I knew better, I should have seen this coming. You dipped your toe in, gave a sparkle of hope and then ran away.  Every time this happens, it feels like my heart is ripping into a million pieces all over again. It hurts. I guess I needed to feel something again, though. I've been sort of numb, other than the feeling of heartache that I've felt for the last two weeks.

I broke down Saturday morning after you sent that stuff to me, and I wasn't able to recover. I had a weekend of things to keep me distracted from you, instead, I stayed home and cried all weekend. You have this overwhelming power over me. Friday night I was starting to feel better, Saturday afternoon I was a moping mess all over again.  I just wish you would come home. Let me cook for you, love you, take care of you.