for my birthday...

 you messaged me the night before. you said if the snow wasn't as bad as it was... you'd visit me in person and tell me happy birthday.  

 

so i think i am going to give myself something... 30 days. that's it. 30 days, which is when RE9 releases. Once that comes and goes, I will move on. So here it is. The hard date. I am going to set this in stone. On that date, I will no longer reply unless it is about our son. I will be setting boundaries, firm and strict ones. All photos of you will be put on a drive and stored away. The messages will be archived. I will not look at your profiles because I will be blocking you. This has been a more difficult 5 months, but once the 6th is over, so will we, and I can not look back.

I fall apart when I see your messages. I crumble when you call. I shake when you abruptly have to leave. I get depressed once you ghost.  I can't live this way any longer. I am in a constant state of 'born ready' because of this.  I can't do this anymore. I am tired. I am lonely. I hurt. and the truth is, I know that I've hurt others in the process. At the slightest hint of you, I drop anything and everyone. 

But it's been this way most of the time with you.  I fell so hard for you. I walked away from my family, my friends, and my life. I made one stumble but I came right back. You made me promise to never leave, and I never did. Until February 26th, 2026. This is the day I will walk away... for good. This isn't an ultimatum for you, it's one for me. Because as much as I want to believe in my heart you'll come to me, my mind knows that it's over. So, I am letting my mind guide my heart this time.