just a string of random consciousness

This is where we are. Just... Nothing. You speak to me as if everything is fine, but only about things that concern out son. We are basically strangers that know each other's secrets but have a child in common. 

To not know the warmth of your touch anymore, it's miserable. Most days I just am on autopilot. I feel numb, I just go about life, just... bouncing around, doing my routine. Every day. Wake up, gym, go to work, come home, eat, sleep. That's my life. There's nothing to it anymore. I am empty. I am a hollow shell. The person I once was... That feels so removed from what I am now. I am so alone. 

I have my son on the weekends. That's it. I have no one else. I can't believe this is where we are... Where you are... I hope that you are happy. 

Because I am not, I put on the facade, long enough for our son to be around. But I could not be further from ok. 

It's not the fact that I am afraid to be alone. I just thought it was me and you. But that's not what you want.